Un Milione di Sogni circa Lei
by Mitsuki Horenake
Summary: "A Million Dreams about You".  Germany haunts the dreams of the young Italian every time he slept.  And each time he was there, he would always die.
1. Chasing Cars

**/= "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol =/**

_The entire time, Italy was holding onto the side of a stretcher and moving faster and faster into the hospital walls. His heart was beating faster and faster until it could no longer keep up with the pain that he was feeling inside his chest. Around him, he saw his fellow nations holding onto the stretcher wearing hospital garb and talking to the man bleeding profusely into his bandages._

"_You're going to be OK, Germany. You're going to be fine…"_

_Those words from Prussia's lips finally allowed Italy to see through the bandages covering his face. He could see every detail that wasn't hidden in bloody rags: the angle of his nose, the fragility of those lips, the closed eyes that were always dead for some reason…and he was dying. But how…just how?_

"_**Do it all…everything…on our own…"**_

"_V-ve?"_

_Was America really singing right now?_

"_**We don't need…anything…or anyone…"**_

_Was England really singing right now?_

"_**If I lie here, if I just lie here, will you lie next to me and just forget the world?"**_

_Were they both singing right now?_

"_**Don't quite know how to say how I feel?"**_

_Was that RUSSIA?_

_Why were they all singing?_

_Before he knew it, the entire group was singing loudly all while pushing Germany into an ER. Italy had no idea just what was going on, but he was forced to go with it. As they finally got into the room, he found himself being pushed back as the other nations started to operate on the man._

"_Where's that set I was asking about?"_

"_Stop yelling and get to your seat!"_

"_**If I lie here…if I just lie here…will you lie next to me and just forget the world?"**_

"_We need to calm down before we kill him!"_

"_**I don't know where…confused about how as well."**_

"_Germany…"_

"_Look, we just have to keep the hemorrhaging from going too far! China, where's the scapel?"_

"_Here, aru!"_

"_All right, you two get everything together! Luzon, start the surgery."_

"_Good. Hungary, are you good over there?"_

"_The patient's vitals are dropping!"_

"_Quick! We need another negotiated tax budget over here! Who wants to hand it over?"_

"_I have a few extra bucks, da?"_

"_Those will do well! Get it to Luzon so he can put it in!"_

"_**Just know that these things will never change for us here as well." **_

"_OK, I got him stabilized."_

"_That's good, Luzon. Step back! All right, we're going to move him now!"_

"_We're lifting him in one-"_

_Italy watched as the group lifted up the entire mass of a dying nation onto another stretcher and strolled him toward the elevator. He followed afterwards, noticing that he will not fit in the elevator and was forced to step back and watched as Hong Kong and Poland jumped into the space that he would've been in._

"_**If I lie here…"**_

_He turned around and saw a familiar figure singing with a blank face._

"_**If I just lie here…"**_

"_G-Germany…?"_

"_**Would you lie with me and just forget the world?"**_

"_Shit, he's flat lining!"_

_Italy turned his head just to see the elevator close behind them. Just before the doors closed completely, he heard the machine that he was attached to him flat line. He turned around one more time and saw that Germany had vanished from sight._

**/=+=/**

He awoke with a scream in his throat.

The minute he was up on his feet, Italy jumped out of the bed and started screaming out of the room for his German companion. He was so grateful that he was sharing the same house. Five seconds had barely passed before he found Germany's room and he launched himself into the air.

"…hm…?"

"_**GERMANNYYYYY!"**_

"W-wha- _**gah!"**_

"_**GERMANY I'M SO GLAD THAT YOU'RE ALIVE I JUST HAD THE SCARIEST DREAM YOU WERE DYING IN IT AND EVERYONE WAS TRYING TO SAVE YOU AND WE WERE WHEELING YOU INTO THIS ROOM AND THEN AMERICA STARTED SINGING AND THEN ENGLAND STARTED SINGING AND THEN THEY BOTH STARTED SINGING AND THEN RUSSIA STARTED SINGING AND THEN EVERYONE STARTED SINGING OH GERMANY IT WAS AWFUL YOU WERE FLAT LINING WAS IN THE ELEVATOR JUST WHEN YOU WERE BEHIND ME SINGING TO YOUR DEAD BODY AND THEN YOU FLAT LINED OH GERMANY I WAS SO SCARED I DON'T EVER WANT TO LOSE YOU EVER AGAIN-"**_

"Italy, geez." He sat up. "I have no idea what you just said."

"…you were dying, Germany." Italy wiped his eyes. "In a musical."

"…well, that's stupid."

"Ve?"

"People don't break out into song in real life. It was just a dream." Germany leaned forward. "See? I'm alive. Now stop worrying."

"…all right, Germany…"

Italy couldn't convince himself, as he latched himself onto Germany's back crying for dear life. Just as he was about to push him off, he saw Japan standing at the door with an apron on and his arms folded up with a smile.

"Should I leave you two alone?"

"_**JAPAN!"**_

**/=+=/**

**Before you start asking, "Luzon" is Rizal's country name and "Philia" is Charice's country name. And yes, there will be more dreams.**


	2. I've Got Friends on the Other Side

**/= "I've Got Friends on the Other Side" by Princess and the Frog =/**

"_Ve…this is scary…"_

"_It's probably nothing that big." Germany folded his arms. "It's voodoo. What could possibly go wrong?"_

"_T-the voodoo might be real!"_

"_If that's true, then I would see Arthur actually be successful in one of his spells."_

_Italy didn't know what to say about that, but alas his fears always seem to be for naught, so he decided to dismiss them as the two of them entered the building. The place looked nothing like the voodoo temples that he had seen in America's books. Instead, it looked more like the inside of a gothic temple._

"_Ah…welcome, you two."_

_Italy whimpered and clung onto the German as he stopped in his tracks, seeing England sitting on his throne with a smile on his face. It unnerved the both of them just a little bit. But then again, Germany pushed himself forward. Italy had to do the same thing. He couldn't just leave him now._

"_I believe that you want something from me?"_

"_Yes. We are from the kingdom, and we're here on an investigation."_

_It was then that Italy realized that he was wearing a strange outfit that looked like something out of a fantasy movie, and Germany looked like a majestic warrior. England (apparently he's named Arthur now) was wearing strange robes and had a grin on his face that made him whimper._

"_You're talking about the rogue mage that is attacking the villagers, am I right?"_

"_Yes. Since you are the village sorcerer, it's natural that we take a look at you." Germany leaned forward. He looked so…majestic. "I'm not accusing you of anything-"_

"_You sound like you don't believe that I actually use magic."_

"…_if magic is real, then our kingdom would have been able to use it for the sake of the people."_

"_Just because you're the prince of this land doesn't mean that you can justify what your father has done to us."_

"_I know…I just want to know what scars I have to heal when the time comes for me to do so."_

_Italy sat there in shock, staring at just how serious Germany was with England (Arthur? England? Who is he now?). He had such a formal tone to his voice, still sounding like the soldier that he was used to. He tried his best to hide his fear in his throat, as he had to for the sake of the prince…Germany. Right. Germany._

"_You are a noble prince…horribly naïve, though."_

"_I know that. If you can prove to me that magic exists, I will believe you."_

_Italy started tapping his toes together as he saw England smiling and lifting up a small voodoo doll from the table. He took a strange liquid and doused the doll as quickly as he could. Italy noted that until he turned his head and saw that Germany was completely doused with water._

"…_what's…?"_

"_What did you do to me, Arthur?"_

"_I'm showing you that magic is real."_

_He grinned as he lifted his hand up underneath the doll, and Italy watched as it caught fire without missing a beat. He blinked for a few seconds before hearing a scream echo from the side. He turned his head to the side and saw that Germany had caught fire, watching in horror as he was completely engulfed in flames._

"_**No!"**_

_He couldn't touch him. There was no water in sight. He could only watch in horror as Germany dropped to his knees and vanished into a pile of ash, sobbing uncontrollably._

**/=+=/**

"What the _**fucking hell**_ are you doing, fratello?"

"I'm looking for Germany!"

"He's not here, you bastard! He's back home! Now go to sleep!"

**/=+=/**

The next day, Italy was wiping his eyes to hide the growing bags underneath. He shook his head and headed into the meeting hall, where he saw Germany talking to his brother about behaving at the meeting. A sigh of relief escaped his lips as he walked toward the German and leaned his head on his back.

"Italy?"

"Ve…" He smiled. "Good morning, Germany."

"Um…good morning. Are you all right?"

"Ve…of course I am."

He blinked for a few minutes before he saw Romania bringing a candle out of his jacket and lighting it to show England the spell he was talking about. About five seconds later Germany felt Italy clinging onto him for dear life and pushing him out of the room until the nerves settled down.

"I-Italy…?"

"Ve?"

"What was that about?"

"Oh…nothing…nothing at all." Italy rubbed his head. "I was just…scared of the fire."

"From a candle?"

"It's still fire…"

Germany shook his head and understood, as Italy was always one to be scared for no reason. That was the time Italy decided against telling him about his dream, and that was going to transfer for the rest of his life.

**/=+=/**

**God bless dreams, huh?**


	3. A Drop Filled with Memories

**/= "A Drop Filled with Memories" by Paprika =/**

_He was surrounded by flying rose petals. Italy had no idea where he was, and the air was getting cold. His feet was touching cold glass, and when he looked down he realized that he was barefoot and wearing only his pajamas. He turned his head and realized that he seemed to be in an abandoned town in the middle of the night, the rose petals becoming thicker and thicker with the smell of…_

_Blood?_

_Italy tensed as he finally heard footsteps walking toward him. His feet wanted nothing more than to run away from him, whoever was coming toward him, most likely wanting to kill him. But after a few minutes he heard a low grunt which made his ears perk and his fear instantly elevate._

"_Germany!"_

_He dashed forward and saw what he confirmed: Germany, holding his stomach and smiling at his appearance. Italy could only laugh and jump into his arms, feeling his warm embrace and wanting nothing more than to stay like this forever. After a few seconds, he realized that there was growing pressure on his stomach. They parted for a few minutes before Italy realized that there were rose petals stuck on his stomach._

"_Ahahaha…silly me! I must've collected these from the breeze!" He dusted them off. "Did I get some on you, Germany?"_

"…_no, of course not." He answered, holding his stomach. "Don't worry about it."_

"_But then again, it's not like rose petals do anyone harm, you know?" Italy laughed. "I'm just wondering where all of them came from!"_

"_The roses? Hm…possibly from France…"_

"_Oh, that's true! I didn't think of that! Perhaps we're in France then!"_

"_Italy…we are in France. I thought you knew this."_

"_Ve~? Oh, I'm sorry! I got distracted by the rose petals! Though…where are they coming from…?"_

_Germany didn't say anything, staring at the buildings around them. Italy got confused and looked around as well, realizing what he was seeing: all the buildings have been destroyed and burnt. Almost as if they were in a war…instantly, Italy turned and pried Germany's arm off his stomach, seeing a bunch of held rose petals coming out of an open wound._

"…_Germany?"_

"…_I'm sorry, Italy."_

"_Germany, what's…what's going on…?"_

"_The war is over now…they're signing the treaty."_

"…_what does that mean? Does the fighting end?"_

"_Yes, Italy. The fighting stops. You can go home now."_

"_But…what about you? Do you go home?"_

"…_no. Not like this."_

_Italy looked down and saw as Germany continued to bleed rose petals, spreading into the darkness of the night. He knew what war he was in right now. The war that he hated with all his soul…_

"_I'm going to be separated, Italy. I'm not going to exist."_

"…_G-Germany?"_

"_There will be two of me now, like you and your brother. And there's a good chance that they will last."_

"_Germany…"_

"_Think about it…you and your brother were one person at one time. There must've been something that separated the both of you like this…" Germany held his shoulder. His grip wasn't stern, troubling him. "Italy, I have…one final request."_

"_**NO!**__ I don't want to do it! I…I don't want to lose Germany again…!"_

"_Italy…you're not going to lose me…you're going to have two of me." He shook his head. "All I'm asking is that you are kind to them in the same way you have been kind to me…with that same smile…the same hugs…the same way you cook your pasta, everything. Deny them of nothing."_

"…_Germany…"_

"_Italy…" He brushed away his hair. "Smile for me?"_

_Italy tensed as he finally felt a breeze brush between the both of them. He looked up and saw with horror as Germany had backed away from him and was fading into the rose storm. He didn't even have time to scream when he saw his body dissolve into roses, the final thing he saw was that same smile he had…the one that he had grown to be fond of…_

"_Germany…__**GERMANY!**__**"**_

**/=+=/**

He darted up in his bed, his hand reaching out to the sky. Italyflipped to a sitting position before looking around at his room and the window that was open. That must've been where the breeze came from. Slowly, he went to it and closed the window with a sharp click.

"Ve~~~it's cold out tonight…"

It was cold in the dream…almost as cold as his skin when he touched it…Italy sat back down on the bed and looked down at his hands. If he unfocused his eyes for a few minutes, he could find himself seeing the rose petals that was Germany's blood. Roses were the national flower of France, and they were as red as blood…so it was like holding Germany's dead body all over again.

He held his swollen face in his bloody fingers and cried the entire night.


	4. Fireflies

**/= "Fireflies" by Owl City =/**

_Italy was in a meadow this time, surrounded by fireflies. They reached up high into the midnight sky, being the only source of light. He found himself wearing his usual military garb, but this time he was not wearing any shoes like the last dream. Still, the area looked beautiful…like it wasn't battered by war._

_The fireflies started to move, startling him, and saw as a figure emerged from the lights. It was Germany, wearing his usual military attire with no slashes and no blood on his chest. He was smiling, the same smile that he gave him the last time, and it scared him. Italy quickly ran into his arms, feeling the same warmth that was there, and noticing that his arms were doing the same thing._

_Hopefully, he didn't feel his heart flopping around in his chest like a sugar-crazed America after a Halo game._

_Fortunately, Germany made no remark on it. He caressed his head and tucked his hair behind his ear, making his heart pound even harder. Suddenly, he heard something beat in his ear. Germany's heart was beating just as fast as he was, and this time he wasn't scared of showing it to him. Italy looked up and saw the German's smile becoming softer, completely unlike him._

_The fireflies were spinning around them at this point, and the two of them started dancing. He had no idea why he was doing it, but he was so happy about it. He was with Germany, and he has never been happier in his entire life. As they were spinning around, he could've sworn that he saw Holy Rome in Germany's eyes. Their smiles seem to be the same…_

_They both collapsed onto the grass, watching the fireflies dance above them and laughing the entire time. Italy couldn't remember the last time he was with someone and had this much fun with no dialogue at all. As he turned to the German, he felt his hair being tucked behind his ear again. The dancing heartbeat was getting even worse, but at the same time it was getting better. He didn't want it any other way…_

_Hours seemed to pass by before he saw Germany sitting up and stare at him with that same smile again, making Italy giggle in response. He sat up next to the German and watched as he stood up and headed toward the fireflies, then turned around and beckoned Italy to join him. The Italian quickly skipped over to him before feeling the German's arms wrap around his waist. He felt like such a girl in his hold…and he liked it._

"…_thank you…Italia…"_

"_I-Italia? B-but the only person who called me that was-"_

_Germany slowly let go of his hold and backed away from him, the fireflies coming between them again. Italy started running after him, screaming his name and reaching toward the German's hand as he smiled and reached out as well. In a split second, he could've sworn that he saw Holy Rome's hand as well…_

_His hand caught one lone firefly as the others vanished into the night sky, taking with them what was left of Germany. Italy looked in his hand and saw that the firefly had transformed itself into a crumpled rose petal._

**/=+=/**

Italy's eyes flickered open, revealing that he was going to have another sleepless night yet again. He turned his head into his pillow and silently began to cry.

**/=+=/**

The sleepless nights were yet to take their toll on him, so he was still openly eating his pasta during the meeting where Romania and Hungary started their arguments and somehow decided that they were going to argue over who was louder in an argument, them or France and England.

"Tch…this is getting stupid."

Italy turned his head and saw Germany sitting next to him, folding his arms and wondering when would be the perfect time to jump in and scare everyone. Instantly, he felt his heart flop around all the same. Italy turned back to his pasta, and somehow two of the noodles were forming a heart. He blushed.

"Hm? Is something wrong, Italy?"

"Eh? Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about something!" He laughed, eating the heart. "But I forgot what it was!"

"…typical." Germany shook his head. "Speaking of which…"

"Ve~?"

"Italy, are you-"

"_**GANG WAY! ENGLAND'S LOST IT!"**_

They looked up and saw that England had stripped into his Britannia Angel robes and was not proceeding to cast whatever he wanted on people. A few of them turned into tomatoes _(much to Spain's delight)_ before he turned toward Germany. From Italy's perspective, the light was consuming the figure…almost as if it was going to take him away…

He didn't think. He ran forward and pushed him away, shocked that he was only feeling air. The spell smashed into Italy's stomach and he was sent flying in the air, crashing into the wall with a sound that made the whole room freeze. They turned and saw the crater left behind as Italy coughed up blood and collapsed onto the ground, making Germany scream and run to his side. Italy could barely look up and smile.

"_Ve…thank god…it didn't take you away…"_

"Italy?"

He passed out in his arms, leaving the whole room in a strange silence. After a few minutes, Philia climbed onto one of the desks and pointed at Britannia Angel.

"_**THAT'S IT!**__** Britannia Angel, prepare for the **__**ASIAN INVASION!**__**"**_

"What the bloody-?"

Philia pulled out a poleaxe out of nowhere and proceeded to beat his head over with it, quickly accompanied with Romano and Spain. The whole time, Germany lifted up Italy's body and proceeded to head into someplace safe…somewhere that didn't threaten his safety any more than it already is.

**/=+=/**

**Yeah…I have got to stop being so evil.**


	5. I Can't Hate You Anymore

**/= "I Can't Hate You Anymore" by Nick Lachey =/**

_He was floating on air…in the middle of something…whatever it was, he didn't know. Italy looked around and saw absolutely nothing…if only the sounds were as trusting. Everywhere he turned, he heard slashing and hacking and screams of pain and death. He shivered in his place and held his hands up to his ears._

"_Stop it…"_

_He heard people flying in the air and horses running over the dying bodies of men he never met._

"_Stop it…"_

_Screams…more cries of pain…why are they all here…?_

"_No…none of them deserve this…"_

"_**No one deserves death, Italia."**_

_He looked up and saw a familiar figure walking toward him, wearing fighting robes and a smile on his face. Italy's eyes watered as he stood up and proceeded to hug the figure, sobbing in his dirty armor, and feeling the arms going back around him. He had never felt so happy in his life._

"_Holy Rome…oh god, bless him…" Italy sobbed. "You're here…"_

"_I've always been here, Italia…" He smiled. "You just haven't been looking hard enough…"_

"_I'm sorry then…I'm so sorry that I haven't seen you…" He responded. "I really looked for you…I did…"_

"_That's all right…there are people who never find what they're searching, no matter how hard they look…" Holy Rome laughed. "Fortunately for me, I can come right to you!"_

"_Ve~~~that makes me happy…"_

_They stood like this in their own little world, the sounds and screams fading away into nothing until they were swimming in silence. Italy laughed halfway through before turning upward and seeing Holy Rome's face kissing his forehead before kneeling just a few feet away from him._

"_You've…changed so much, Italia…"_

"…_it's just Italy, Holy Rome." Italy smiled. "Because I'm…a man…"_

"_Ah…I figured as much…" Holy Rome smiled._

"_Are…are you mad? That I didn't tell you?"_

"_No…I'm not." Holy Rome held his hand. "I wasn't mad back then, and I'm not mad now."_

"_Holy Rome…"_

"_I'll always love you, Italia…no matter if you're a man or a woman."_

"_Holy Rome…thank you…" Italy turned away. "But…I'm confused."_

"_Hm?"_

"_Holy Rome…would you be mad if…if I said that…I mean…well, what I mean is…" Italy looked down. "Would you be mad if I said I might be in love with another man?"_

_Holy Rome was quiet before he lifted his fingertips and caressed Italy's face, making the other boy shiver and turn toward him. His eyes were filled with tears, conflicted with so many emotions that he couldn't understand. After a few minutes of wondering what he was going to say, he backed away._

"_That's fine…that's perfectly fine with me…"_

"_Holy Rome?"_

"_I could never hate you, Italy. Even if I was mad back then, I…I can't hate you anymore."_

"…_t-thank you…"_

"_I…I only want you to be happy. That's all I ask of you…"_

"…_all right…"_

_It was then that a strange twist of pain ran through him, and a knife came out of nowhere to stab Holy Rome in the back. Italy screamed before blood coated his shirt and he saw the smiling figure of Holy Rome being tainted by the blood coming out of his mouth. Standing behind him, blade in hand, was England with a smile._

"_**NOOOOO!"**_

**/=+=/**

"Italy? _**ITALY!"**_

His eyes snapped open, revealing that his hands were in the air. He turned his head and saw that Germany was holding onto his shoulders, making sure that he didn't scramble around and hurt himself. Italy lowered his arms just so that Germany can sit back down. He sighed.

"…are you alright? Are you in pain?"

"…_just a little…but not that much…"_ Italy rubbed his side. _"It hurts here…"_

"That's where the spell hit you…" Germany sighed. "I'm…I can't believe I'm saying this, but…I'm glad that it hit you instead."

"_V-ve~?"_

"The spell that England cast was apparently a killing curse. He was so mad that he was willing to hit anything at this point…" The German rubbed his head. "What he aimed at me was supposed to kill me instantly…but it was only assigned to Germans, so when it hit you, there wasn't any effect-"

"_W-wait…I…I no longer have…?"_

"You no longer have Germanic blood in your veins. You're purely Italian now…with some other ethnicities of course, but…"

It was then that he saw Italy's eyes begin to well up with tears, but he had no idea what was wrong. Meanwhile, the Italian knew full well what the problem was. The small part of German blood was the only thing that he had of Holy Rome…there was nothing else that indicated that he had loved him…he lost all of that so long ago…the fact that he lost that now…

He jumped into Germany's arms and sobbed, and the other was all too willing to allow it.

**/=+=/**

**It's canon that Veneziano has some Germanic blood in his veins **_**(to symbolize the Holy Roman Empire)**_**, similar to how Romano has Arabic blood **_**(the Ottoman Empire…I think)**_**.**


	6. Pieces

**/= "Pieces" by Red =/**

_He was floating in the air, surrounded by darkness. He had no idea what was going on, only that there was a strange breeze coming from the eastern side. His feet never made a sound when he touched the ground, but it definitely sounded like he was touching solid ground. As he headed further into the darkness, he heard a child giggling next to him._

"…_who's there?"_

_There was no response, so he continued further into the darkness to find out any answer to his question. The child continued to laugh as he continued further and further into the world of the darkness. After a few minutes, he shook his head and turned around._

"_All right, stop laughing and tell me who you are!"_

"…_I'm a friend~"_

_He blinked as he saw a figure starting to form in front of him. It was a boy, wearing pure white robes and what looked like a cross necklace. What was even weirder was that the boy looked oddly familiar, even though he was purely sure that he hadn't seen this little boy before…perhaps he was a human he had met so long ago?_

"_A friend…? Have we met before?"_

"_Of course not. But I'm a friend."_

"…_how can you be my friend even though we've never met before?"_

"_Because I say that you're my friend. Is that enough for you?"_

"_Not if I can't trust you."_

"_Why? You trust __him__, don't you?"_

_He tensed._

"_How do you…?"_

"_I know everything about you. I know you're a nation, I know that you have many friends, and I happen to know your past. Even the parts you don't know."_

"…_don't…know."_

"_You have questions, don't you?"_

"_Many…none of them are answered."_

"_No one wants to tell you, for your past is filled with much sorrow and pain."_

"_Then why hide it from me? I've been filled with pain and sadness after all this. My boss ran my life…drove me to the ground and almost killed me."_

"_That is nothing. You stayed true to yourself, and that is all that you need to know."_

"_What are you…?"_

"_In your past, you betrayed a promise."_

"_I…broke a…no, I never break my promises."_

"_You did. You broke a promise to her…and told her that you would come back for her after the war."_

"…_no…I never made that promise…I would've…I would've kept it if I had…"_

"_All you said that you were going to go back to the house you two were raised in, winner or not, and live all of forever with her by your side. But you didn't. After you won that battle, you went even farther. You stretched your hand too far and you began to fail…"_

"_No…I never went to battle on that whim…"_

"_Once you knew you went too far, it was too late. __He__ had gotten a hold of you…and with that you fell…a shadow of what you once were…and with everything lost, you promised yourself never to burden yourself with anything useless in order to protect yourself and those you trusted."_

"…_I never abandoned my friends…"_

"_You never kept friends, you kept __**allies.**__ Anything and anyone that can protect your goals, you used and discarded…"_

"…_no, you got me all wrong…"_

"_If they didn't follow you, you abused. That was a segment of the true you…the part subdued and dismissed as a form that is nonetheless nonexistent. How sad. But how can you say anything if you can't even accept the truth?"_

"_That's not the truth…I never abandoned my friends…I never…I never broke my promises."_

"_You destroyed thousands of them. Think of all the people you've hurt with your hollow lies and betrayal."_

"_No."_

"_What if they found out that you were a liar? A fake? Using them just to clear your own benefit?"_

"_**Okay!**__ Fine! I used them, OK? I wanted to be a strong nation! I wanted to be like the Roman Empire, I wanted to be just like her grandfather! I did that because I wanted to protect her, just like he did! The only problem was that…I couldn't. No matter how hard I tried, I just…couldn't be at that level."_

_The boy was silent._

"_Yes, I…I wanted to stop the minute that the battle was over, but I couldn't. When I stopped, I realized how dangerous the world was for her. All the people that attacked her before wanted to take her from me again…and I couldn't do that. But I failed…I couldn't be strong enough to protect her…and now she's gone. A territory destroyed and replaced by someone who looks so much like her…"_

_He silently wept in front of the boy as he walked toward him and sighed._

"_You do realize that being in denial about everything hurts you even more than actually forgetting something."_

"…_I know…but remember the past hurts. I couldn't handle it as what I am now. How could I possibly do it when I was a child…? When I was you?"_

"_You didn't have to. You could open your heart and tell those that you trusted."_

"_But…I'm supposed to be the one protecting them. If I reveal that I can't be as strong as I appear to be, the whole world will fall apart…"_

"_That's how many other nations find their limits. That's why most of them can't survive. This is the same mistake that the Roman Empire made. He wanted to protect his boys, and failed because he did something that is impossible now."_

"…_yeah, he did."_

"_You know that the only way to take the guilt off your shoulders is to tell her the truth."_

"_Her…? But…she's dead. I can't talk to the dead like England…"_

"_She's not dead. She's alive."_

"…_but how…?"_

"_She was never a woman to begin with."_

"…" _His mind clicked. "N-no way…"_

"_Yes. You still have a second chance."_

"_But…would she forgive me?"_

"_You know her. You answer the question for yourself."_

"…_she'll be mad at first…but…she'll forgive me…I hope so."_

"_She will. Don't deny anything anymore. Tell her the truth, even the ones that hurt."_

"…_yes." He smiled. "Thank you."_

**/=+=/**

**Finale next chapter.**


	7. Grace

**/= "Grace" by Kate Havnevik =/**

_There was a body in front of him, and it was obviously dead. Italy didn't want to go toward it, but he knew that he had to. As he walked toward it, he could smell the stench of death all over it. His fingers trembled as he touched the side of the body, seeing it flip onto its back to reveal who it was. Italy's eyes widened._

"…_g-grandpa?"_

_Another body appeared a few feet away, and Italy froze. He was already on his back, so he didn't have to see who it was. He started crying openly as he ran to the body of Holy Rome, shaking him to make sure that he wasn't a fake, seeing that he wasn't just sleeping or something._

"…_Holy Rome…"_

_A third body appeared next to him; this time he didn't want to look. Unfortunately, his curiosity got the better of him. He turned his head and saw that there was a familiar figure facing away from him, a slash across his back and a knife bearing the Italian symbol right in the middle of his spine. The Italian's eyes started to shiver as he headed closer to him and grabbed his shoulder, the body moving and revealing a familiar face._

"_G-G-G…Germany…?"_

_He started sobbing openly over his body, surrounded by those that he had openly loved and had died because of that. Was he always this useless? Was he just hiding behind everyone while people got hurt to protect him? It wasn't even his brother with this pain as well, it was only him…_

"_**Well well well…looks like poor little Italy finally realized the truth."**_

"_V-ve~?" He looked up. "W-who's there?"_

"_**The sad truth, the unglorified truth…the truth that will turn this little boy into a pile of what he used to be…"**_

"…_w-what do you mean?"_

"_**You killed all of them, didn't you?"**_

"_W-what? What do you mean by that?" He stood up. "I-I killed them? But I never raised a hand against them!"_

"_**Your grandfather did all the protecting for you, and died because of that. Holy Rome went to do the exact same thing that Rome did just for your sake, just because you couldn't protect yourself…"**_

"…_I killed…grandpa…?"_

"_**And Germany…ah, Germany…you had so much fun massacring his body, didn't you?"**_

"_W-what does that mean? I never laid a hand on Germany!"_

"_**You failed him so many times. He had to save you from each problem you landed in, just so you can turn around and join his enemies just to take him down. The second time around, you failed to protect yourself and as such Germany had to save you…and because of that he hurt himself."**_

"_Germany…?"_

"_**You had so much fun hurting him, didn't you? You did it for much longer than the others…"**_

"_But…"_

"_**No more. Now you get to learn how much pain you inflicted him."**_

_Italy was about to say something when he felt the body next to him move and rise to his feet. He froze as he saw Germany rise to his level, grinning a psychotic smile that made the Italian shiver. Around him, he could hear the broken laughter of Rome and Holy Rome as the zombie started moving toward him._

"_Germany…Germany, what are you…?"_

_His wrists were grabbed and he was thrown to the ground, feeling his head bump into the solid metal floor. Just as he was about to roll away, he was pinned by Germany held against his will. Italy started flailing and sobbing, begging for someone to help him. But the more he called for help, the louder the laughter around him became._

"_**Don't try to resist me."**_

"_Germany…G-Germany…!" Italy flailed. "Please, stop! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"_

_The German would hear nothing about it, instead getting closer and closer to the shivering body of the Italian as he began to try to get out of there. No matter how hard he tried, his body was just too weak compared to the muscles of the other man. There was nothing he could do…he was going to have to take it all in…_

"…_a…"_

_He was going to have to endure the pain…_

"…_lia…"_

_But…he didn't want to admit it…_

"…_Italia…"_

_He wanted this…he wanted this for so long…_

"_**ITALY!"**_

He yelped and blinked, looking up and realizing that Germany was still holding onto him. Instead, he noticed that there was a light coming from the north and that he was inside a room. He realized that Germany was still holding his wrists, and fear ran through him again. This time, Germany noticed it.

"…Italy?"

His body was shaking again, and this time Germany decided to let him go. He watched as the Italian crawled away in a panic in his bed, but not making a move to actually start running, making the German look down and sigh, oddly enough out of relief.

"…it's just a nightmare, Italy." He stated.

"…_I know…"_ Italy mumbled. _"I…I know…"_

He started mumbling something to himself as Germany looked away with a blush. He himself had a strange dream when he was waiting for Italy to wake up again _(after the incident with England, he couldn't help but feel worried)_, telling him to tell Italy the truth.

_But he won't accept the truth, even if it is from me._

_**He will.**_His mind assured him. _**You have everything at your disposal to tell him the truth.**_

"…Italy. C-can I ask you a question?"

"Ve~? S-sure…"

"W-whose house did you grow up in? Next to your grandfather."

"H-huh? Uh…" Italy covered himself. After the nightmare he felt oddly naked _(even though he wasn't…must've been Germany's doing)_. "A-Austria."

_Austria…yes, definitely him._ "He made you a servant in his house, right?"

"Yes, but-" He blinked. "H-how'd you know?"

"…ulp." _Apparently, Italy didn't tell anyone._ "I-I just made an assumption, based off Romano's life with Spain."

"Oh…" Italy chuckled. "Well…I had fun with Austria."

"How so?"

"Well…Austria taught me how to sing and play instruments, while Hungary basically taught me how to cook Hungarian dishes and dress me up all the time." Italy laughed. "We all had so much fun, just the three of us."

Germany blinked in confusion.

"…three?"

"Yes, three of us." Italy smiled. "It was the best days of my childhood…"

He couldn't help but rub his forehead. Did his decision to hide his past from Italy really made him reject all the memories they had together? He wasn't surprised, but…it still hurt him nonetheless.

"Were you annexed by an empire by any chance?"

"Ve? I-I think it was the Austrian Empire." Italy smiled. "Yeah, that's right. Until the 1860s."

The 1860s. The day the Holy Rome part of himself gave up his will to live.

"W-was there anything else?"

"N-no." Italy looked worried about his pushing.

"Italy."

"I-I haven't, really! I was only under Austria's rule…"

"_**Don't LIE to me, Italy!"**_

"V-ve!" He whimpered and hid underneath the blanket. _"I-I'm not…"_

"Did all those years force you to forget all about me…?" Germany held his head. "After I broke that one promise, you decided that I was going to be buried in the closet…"

"…G-Germany…?"

"I promised you that day…I told you that I was going to come back to you, no matter what happened to me." Germany was shaking. "Did our kiss really mean nothing to you…?"

"W-wait, what are you talking…?"

"Italia…" He looked up. "I'm…I'm so sorry."

They stared at each other for what felt like eternity before he finally realized what Germany was talking about. Italy tried his hardest to back up and instead hit his back on the wall. He knew that Holy Rome and Germany looked so similar to each other, but…there was no way they could be the same…no way…

"_Y-you're lying."_ Italy stated. _"You can't be telling the truth…_H-Holy Rome…he's dead…he died during the Hundred Year's War."

"No, he didn't. He…he died when you gained independence and allied yourself with his brother to fight the man who was trying to save me."

"…The Austro-Prussian War…?" Italy froze. "I…I killed…?"

"Only temporary…" Germany turned away. "I came back as Germany, but a fragment of what I really was. It was only after my people decided to look into our history in great detail that I remembered everything…"

"…you're…you're still lying…"

"You taught me how to paint rabbits, remember? I was so horrible at it that when you took my hand and showed me that way, I panicked and left in a hurry."

Italy froze.

"Hungary decided to dress you up one day in this beautiful dress and you wanted to show me how you looked. It made me so embarrassed, seeing you all beautiful like that, but I knew I couldn't leave you so I had to see how cute you were."

"…_Germany…"_

"At least…remember that I kissed you. That was the only thing I could possibly give you…"

"…_I…"_

"You…don't remember."

"_N-no, I do…but…"_

Germany leaned forward and lightly brushed his lips on the other, making Italy gasp and shiver in response. They were so close, and yet there weren't actually kissing each other. Italy's nerves started to burn; he wanted to kiss him so badly, but before he could move the German moved away and looked at him.

"…do you remember now…?"

"…yes…yes, I remember." Italy started shivering. "You were so scared of me…you almost missed…"

"That's exactly how I remembered it…that and you were scared too. If you weren't you would've closed the gap…"

"Like…like this…?"

Italy let the blanket drop as he leaned in to finally close the gap between the both of them. Finally having those lips on his after so long of a wait made all the nerves in Germany tingle and come to life, all of them so happy that he could feel his past self taking over his mind. But at this rate, he wouldn't care. This is what he wanted.

"…Germany…"

"Italy…"

He caressed his face, and suddenly he felt the boy's body tense and back away. Germany didn't have to question it, he sort of knew why.

"…it's the nightmare, isn't it?"

"…" Italy looked away.

"…do…_do you want me to leave?"_

"_N-no! No, no no no no no no…"_ Italy shivered. _"I…I want you to stay…"_

"Stay?"

"_Stay with me…but don't do anything…"_ He leaned toward him. _"Please?"_

"…as you wish."

He kissed Italy on the forehead as he crawled into the bed with him, feeling the bed shift with his weight. The minute he got himself settled he felt Italy's hands move toward him until the Italian was completely next to him, holding the German like he was a large pillow.

"I-Italia…?"

"…_don't leave me ever again…"_ He whimpered. _"Germany…"_

"…I won't…" He held him. "I'll never do it again…I promise."

**/=+=/**

**And…that's the end of it, I guess. Hope you liked it, and I'll see you when I see you.**


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